


Without Making Me Try

by formosus_iniquis



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 11:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12320469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formosus_iniquis/pseuds/formosus_iniquis
Summary: Shane liked to think of himself as a pretty chill dude, laid back, understanding. The kind of person people are attracted to, not like attracted to, just the kind of dude you pass on the street and think, yeah he'd be a cool guy to hang and have a beer with. A chill dude.So why is Ryan so impervious to his charm.





	Without Making Me Try

**Author's Note:**

> There's some untagged implied worth it trio, like blink and you miss it hence why I kept it out of the tags. I banged this out in two hours last night and finished it at 1am all because I couldn't stop thinking about the Spider Lady and because I'm literally incapable of enjoying anything casually.
> 
> And here's the links to all the vids that I vague reference throughout the fic. It's all quality Shane content so I recommend checking them out. [Do You Really Swallow Spiders When You Sleep?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B6tensgwfw), [People Get Snail Facials For The First Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMefkl0rv78&t=1s), [Are Crickets The Food Of The Future?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQaavhwUa4s)

Shane liked to think of himself as a pretty chill dude, laid back, understanding. The kind of person people are attracted to, not like _attracted_ to, just the kind of dude you pass on the street and think, yeah he'd be a cool guy to hang and have a beer with. A chill dude.

Which translated somehow into him attracting a lot of weirdos.

If he believed in things like auras he might suspect there was something about his.

Not that it was a bad thing. Society liked to label people for convenience sake: tall, short, gay, straight, weirdo, whatever. It was an arbitrary, if judgmental label for people who liked different things.

It made for good content. Shane being the likeable, chill dude that he was, could go out and find these weirdos and share with the world a viewpoint that hadn't ever been considered. The cricket farmers, passionate people who were trying to change the world, weirdos. Heck Shane could probably go ahead and throw himself in there too, with his passion for history and the research he'd done about Ben Franklin and his sex cult. Weirdo.

Weirdos were just people with interesting lives and hobbies that sometimes got internet articles written about them. Give him weirdos any day, it was a lot better than those people who didn't have passion for anything. Who blindly followed the trends and the views of the majority.

It just didn't always work out for him.

Like the Spider Lady. She was maybe a little too into sharing her hobby. Between all those spiders that she kept finding more of to put on his face, and the whatever was going on in the snail facial interviews. She was one specialist that Shane didn't think he'd mind if he didn't have to see again.

Then there was Ryan. That little weirdo was a problem all his own.

But maybe that was because he was the one weirdo that was less attracted to Shane than Shane was to him.

He bet Ryan believed in auras.

Why wasn't Ryan attracted to his aura like everyone else was.

“Dude, are you even listening to me?” Ryan asked, frustration wrinkling his face like a cute, little raisin. “We've got to come up with a list for this next season of Supernatural. I know you don't believe in this stuff but you could at least be helpful.”

Shane let a smile drop down across his face like a curtain to hide what he was actually thinking. “Course I am, buddy, you were listing a bunch of places that weren't haunted? And ghost stories that aren't real?”

Ryan laughed even as he was punching Shane in the shoulder, “Dick. Why do I do this with you again?”

“Because the Man told you to, cause I'm the magnetic personality that's bringing in all those sweet views.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, dude, everyone knows you watch X-Files for Mulder not Scully.”

“Well that's just not true at all, there was a whole season that Mulder wasn't even in!”

“Yeah but who even watched that season,” Ryan said.

Now it was Shane’s turn to laugh at the offended scrunch of Ryan's nose as he turned his head away from Shane in mock offense.

“Okay, okay you win this round, Bergara.”

“Do I get a prize?”

“Sure,” Shane said, “anything you want.”

At this point, Shane was pretty sure even the most oblivious weirdo would pick up on the flirting. He'd thrown subtly out the window days ago and now every conversation they had consisted entirely of flirting, with the occasional meaningful look and aborted glance thrown in to taste.

But Ryan, who had no trouble seeing a ghost in every shadow, seemed to be missing the mystery right in front of him.

“I’d love you to actually help me with this list then. I wrote the Blair witch down, is that an actual mystery or just a shaky movie?”

Maybe it was chakras, they were different or out of line or whatever it was chakras are supposed to be. Were those even related to auras? That could be an unsolved mystery to look at.

“Well it's bullshit either way. But I think the Bell witch is the one Hollywood hasn't sullied with their found footage horror.”

“The Children of the Corn set was supposed to be haunted, we could do a whole horror movie episode.”

“That was drunk locals, we can save ourselves and our crew a lot of time by assuming it's always just drunk locals.”

Ryan tried to look annoyed, but Shane could see his lip curling up into that smirk he always had when he secretly thought something was funny.

“Our travel budget got bumped up, we could go somewhere really cool this season,” Ryan said, apparently deciding he wasn't going to get lured into the flirty debate Shane was trying to set up.

“We could go to space, see if we can find those aliens that let the Egyptians copy off their math test.” Shane said.

Now that was an episode that he wouldn't mind redoing. Aliens really could be their supernatural common ground, scientifically plausible enough for Shane to get behind and terrifyingly unknown enough that Ryan could theorize about. If they could just leave out all the bullshit about taking credit away from advanced ancient civilizations it would be great.

Well it would be great if Ryan wasn't giving him that look. That straight faced, unamused look that's very familiar from the lengthy end of the hot dog saga.

Wait, could that be the thing that's keeping Ryan from giving in to Shane's magnetic charm? How ironic that his weird little masterpiece could be the thing keeping him from drawing in the one weirdo he actually wants to keep around.

“You know,” Ryan said, “the whole sarcastic skeptic thing isn't as cute when the cameras aren't rolling.”

Shane knew what a gape felt like, and he knew that he was doing one. “You think I'm cute?”

The blood and humor drained from Ryan's face faster than Shane had ever seen, and he'd seen Ryan in a lot of scary places. “N-no I don't think I said that.”

“People are always filming or vlogging something here, Ryan, I'm sure there's a tape we can roll back somewhere.” he said, hoping he could dare Ryan into snarking back.

“Worth Its travel budget got bumped last season, maybe Steven has some actually helpful suggestions,” Ryan said standing up fast enough that his chair shot back and hit the empty one behind him.

Shane let him go, knowing better than to push any harder when Ryan was actually flustered and spooked. Next time maybe he’d take a play out of Andrew's book and just make flirty suggestions while the camera was rolling to see if his co-host would follow through, with only having the one Shane wasn't sure if that changed the odds in his favor or not.

It was worth a try though. Shane joined the show because he liked learning and he liked puzzles. Whether or not Ryan was actually attracted to his magnetic personality was one mystery that Shane hoped wouldn't stay unsolved.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://www.formosusiniquis.tumblr.com)


End file.
